Yes, it’s necessary to have positive relationships in the classroom
Have you had an administrator say, “Work on building positive relationships in the classroom.” I know this seems like a cop out answer when talking about addressing behaviors in the classroom. I’m not even going to say that having strong relationships will fix everything but…I will say it is a crucial part of a successful, purposeful classroom.
Relationships can be hard. People are hard and honestly, being in a preschool classroom with several different personalities, backgrounds, expectations, home lives, etc. can be extremely overwhelming. But we all have one thing in common…the desire to be loved and to have a place in this world. When students come into my classroom, I want them to feel loved and to feel like they belong. Because our class is a family for the next 9 months and I want each of my students to feel accepted and special in our home away from home.
5 Reasons we need to have strong, positive relationships in the classroom
- Life is about relationships. These relationship-building skills your students see and then practice are going to help them throughout their whole lives.
- Your students deserve to know they are loved and special in your classroom
- Your students need to know they are important to you.
- Students will respond better to correction, criticisms, and learning experiences when there are positive relationships in the classroom.
- It will make your classroom a happier more enjoyable place!
So how do we do this in preschool? Pretty much the same way that we would with anyone else! We smile at them, ask them about their day, comment on their outfit, make connections by bringing up things you know they are interested in, etc.
How do I begin to build these positive relationships?
1. Have simple conversations with them
People love to talk about themselves and this is especially true at the preschool level!
Here are some examples of simple ways to make connections with your students through conversation…
I love your paw patrol shirt! Who is your favorite pup on paw patrol?
Woah, look at your muscles! You’re like a superhero. Can you shoot webs?
I love all of the colors you used in that picture! You are so creative!
Do you have a dog at your house? What is his name? My dog’s name is ____.
2. Play with them
Play is the epitome of learning for preschool-aged students. They learn all kinds of things during play. This is the perfect opportunity for relationship building. Not to mention, all kinds of assessments can take place while you are strengthening your relationship. I’m not saying play with them for all of free play time…but maybe let them take your order at the dramatic play area, or build a castle with them for a few minutes at the block center. Read books with them or a small group that isn’t a whole class read-aloud setting.
3. Tell them you’re happy to see them
Have you ever entered a room and felt like nobody cared that you were there? Or even worse, felt like people didn’t WANT you there! How devastating to think that our students might have that feeling when they come to school. I never want my students to feel like that and a simple “I’m happy to see you today!” can do wonders for a child.
It’s my favorite thing to hear my students repeat phrases that I say to them like, “I’m happy to see you today!” You are leading by example in your classroom. As you build relationships with these students you are also showing them how to build positive relationships with each other. And when students feel loved and wanted by their teachers AND their peers…you have done your job well.
4. Smile or wink at them
Have you ever heard the saying “Make every person feel like they are your favorite person.” Or I might have just made that up…but there is some kind of quote that’s similar to that. 🙂 When someone winks at me it makes me feel like me and that person have our own special connection. Like I’m not saying this out loud right now but we’re a team, I’ve got your back and I think you’re special.
5. Give a high five
How hard is it to give a high-five? Not hard! But it can make a huge impact in the life of a little person. High fives for a job well done, doing a trick, following directions, winning a game, walking into the room, being a person, etc.
6. Make their learning personalized
Sing songs and have activities with their names or where they get to show off a special skill. You know preschoolers love to hear their names in songs and see their names around the room! And they LOVE to show off their “tricks”! Check out this sweet song that you can add to your morning meeting!
What about positive relationships in the classroom with the tough students?
Ok, its easy to build positive relationships in the classroom with the nice, friendly students that are great listeners…but what about the hard students? Guess what…you do the same things, it just takes a different kind of love and patience.
Have you ever had a student that just made everything hard? Screaming, swearing, throwing toys across the room, and anything else you can think of. I have! And let me tell you, the desire to be kind and build a relationship with a child that is defiant and rude and just mean is HARD! But we put on our professional pants and we love them in spite of it. Because that is what Jesus does with us.
Hugs every morning, hold them when extra snuggles are needed, make them a special helper, acknowledge their anger or frustration, etc. Do you know that showing students that you also feel anger and frustration sometimes is a way of building a relationship with them!? One time I was holding an angry student and he said, “I am so mad!” I said, “I feel mad sometimes too. Why are you mad right now?” And he said, “I just don’t like people!” And I have never related to a child more.
Yes, sometimes they get what some might think of as “special treatment”. But at the moment, that is what they need. Fair isn’t everyone getting the same thing, it’s everyone getting what is best for them. And that’s ok.
Have patience and keep working on it
Not every student is going to need the same kind of relational interaction. Some students need hugs, some students need high fives, or conversation or maybe even asking them to help you do something specifically just for them. As you get to know your students, you will begin to see the things that each student thrives on.
The key point is that you as the teacher need to be intentional about building positive relationships in the classroom with each of your students individually and then building a classroom community from those relationships. When we focus on this at the beginning of the year and then continue to grow those relationships as the months go on, we are going to have a classroom that runs more smoothly, students that are ready to learn from us and we will have more enjoyable days in our classrooms!
Need more ideas? Visit me on my homepage! You can also check out this post on positive Classroom management!
Happy Relationship Building!
Courtney